Rebuilding Myself After Becoming a Mom

What No One Tells You About Identity, Ambition, and Finding Your Center Again

Apr 17, 2025

Not many people know this, but after becoming a mom this past September, I didn’t slow down—I sped up.

I felt this sudden surge of ambition I wasn’t expecting. I wanted to create, to grow, to push forward, more than I ever had before. There was this sudden urgency.

While a lot of people talk about pulling back in early motherhood, I did the opposite. I went into full hustle mode. I kept working, building, and showing up. And for a while, it worked. The momentum felt exciting. Like I was tapping into a new gear I didn’t know I had.

But lately, I’ve been feeling it catch up to me.

Not in the form of burnout exactly—but more like this slow, quiet realization that I’ve been moving so fast, I haven’t taken a breath. And somewhere in all the momentum, I’ve lost track of what I really needed.

So, here’s how I’m leaning into my values—redefining success on my own terms, making space for stillness, and slowly reconnecting with the version of me that doesn’t just perform, but feels.

The Tension Between Ambition and Identity

Motherhood changed me. Not by softening my drive, but by adding depth to it. I care even more deeply now about the work I’m doing, the legacy I’m building, the impact I want to have—not just for myself, but for my family, my community, and the women coming up behind me.

But I’ve also realized—ambition without alignment is exhausting.

I’ve spent the past several months…

Chasing my goals, but I wasn’t checking in with myself.
Performing at a high level, but not pausing to ask—at what cost?
Trying to multi-task, but not allowing me to be present.

As someone who’s spent most of her life leading, building, and achieving, it’s hard to admit that sometimes the best thing I can do…is slow down.

Reclaiming Myself, Differently

So I’ve been spending the past few weeks reflecting. I’ve been trying to reconnect with the version of me that’s not just about output and momentum—but about intention and values.

Here’s what I’m reminding myself:

It’s okay to feel both—energized and fatigue.
You can be crazy ambitious and still feel the weight of it.
Success should feel like alignment, not pressure.
Just because you can do it all doesn’t mean you should.
Rest isn’t a threat to progress—it’s fuel for it.
Slowing down doesn’t mean giving up; it means honoring the season you’re in.

What I’m Learning About Myself

Ambition can evolve.
I’m still driven—but now, I’m asking why? Is it aligned with the life I want? Is it sustainable? Is it meaningful?
Pausing doesn’t make me weak.
It makes me honest. And honesty is what keeps me connected to my purpose.
I don’t have to earn my worth through productivity.
My value doesn’t hinge on how much I can juggle.

How I’m Re-Centering Myself

If you’re also in a chapter of building, pushing, striving—and feeling a little disconnected—these are some small shifts helping me stay grounded:

Starting the day with intention
I’m no longer rushing to my desk. I’ve been craving slower mornings—ones that give me a little space before diving into everything and everyone else. Even just taking a few extra moments for myself helps me ease into the day with more clarity.
Scheduling pauses
I’ve started literally blocking time for nothing. Not self-care with an agenda. Not productivity disguised as rest. Just space. A walk with the dogs. Lunch outside without my phone. Little moments that remind me I don’t have to earn stillness.
Revisiting my ‘why’
When I get caught in the loop of doing, I try to come back to the bigger picture. Why am I building this? What do I want this to feel like—not just look like? If I’m going to be putting this much time and energy into something, it better be aligned.
Protecting my energy
This one’s big: not everything (or everyone) needs an immediate response. I’m learning that protecting my peace—my time, my creativity, my focus—isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.

You Don’t Have to Choose

You don’t have to choose between being ambitious and being whole.

You can want more and honor your limits.
You can build with fire and rest without guilt.
You can go after the big dreams while still anchoring yourself in who you are becoming.

Motherhood didn’t dim my ambition—it sharpened it. But it also reminded me that in all my striving, I need to stay rooted.

Because I’m not just building a business. I’m building a life. And I want that life to feel good on the inside—not just look impressive on the outside.

Marilynn